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my girlfriend and i were so good. like we were amazin
and last night i went over her house and we had so much fun just talking and holding each other
and i told her i might be switching schools. becuase im moving in with my sister

and we made plans to hang out all day today
and we talked on the phone for a little bit
and she told me to go get ready so i can go over
and i told her im going to text her when im out of the shower.

i text her adn this is what she says:

"don't come now im not ready . . umm my mom and dad know about us now. apparently we were mad loud last night ,and my mom doesnt want us to go any farther cuz i still have 2 years left at vets ( my old school) and if people start talking and your not at  vets anymore im gonna be the only one getting hurt and i think my mom is right. i think it would be better if we just stayed best friends. ok? im really sorry. can you do that for me? just best friends? "

then i was like " yeah its fine " becuase i really do care about her

and than she fucking texted me this "my mom thinks its a bad idea that i go over your house ... "
and i told her " wow they already hate me "

and this is what she says back "they don't hate you marissa they just dont like the position you put me in.idc. but they do. they think that if i go over your house you will take advantage of me "

wow fuck that. im never falling for a girl who isn't out yet.
like she actually has me in tears right now.
ugh wow like , this is alll in the last 20 mins.

im so fucking done. i never been hurt so badly from a girl.

today was suppose to be amazing !
today was Rhode island's gay pride.
if you dont know what pride is, its this huge block party for supporting gays and it has live music, food, a ton of free crap you will never use.

but anyways, i go down there with my friend sam, we are walking around having a good time.
and than 4 of my old "best friends" came by and they totally  ruin my whole pride.

they just started talking shit and im like whatever i could careless about what they say about me
but then , they started talking about my girlfriend. i FLIPED  out. like i never freaked out so bad before.
and i know if my friend sam didn't pull me away, i would of hit her.

it makes me sick knowing that they were my best friends. ugh im so depressed about the whole thing

"/

i wish my girlfriend's parents didn't suck so much. it really sucks having a girlfriend that isn't out to her family yet.
i'm so open about it and i wanna like hold her hand everywhere and i wanna tell my family that she is my girlfriend.
and she just came out not too long ago, and she is just at that stage where she doesn't want anybody to know and  yeah.
i hope its worth it though, i dont want her to be like " haha im straight " at the end of it "/ believe me it sucks hearing those words out of your girlfriends mouth

2008 has been pretty crazy already.
I had a lot of ups and downs, but i made it.

i feel like i lost all of my "best friends" . it feels like they are kicking me aside
and i know they really arn't but idk, its just not the same. but hey it happens to the best of friends.
and my mom and i have been fighting non stop.
and i almost got arrested haha. that was a crazy night.

but the good part of this year, i have a girlfriend. i love her. shes amazing. and cute.
and i got a job. im working with kids. should be fun.

but yeah ill update this journal more (:

and emily is a beee outch
haha

and out sub is a big big old cunt.
fo realz

"is there something funny"
lmao

anyways
i read a really good gay book called "the god box" i totally say you all should read it.
and i just got a new book last night called" same sex in the city (so your prince charming is really a cinderella)" so far its pretty good, im on page 25 lmao. but yeah, do you guys know any other really good gay/lesbian/bi/trans good , send them over to me :) haha thanks <3

im sitting next to emily.
and she always gives me her work to copy
lmao, i gotta take her to dinner.
to nice slice
and get the best pizza in da worldddddd.

hollla

but yeah, i need a job.
a raelly good job
any ideas ?
and please no where, when you gotta take a drug test
because i will fail that one. for a fact.

haha

today in school went by so slow, it was insane. and today , this one person really got on my nerves, they were pretty much just yelling all of my insecurities to my whole school. whatever fuck her. i really need some new friends in my life, i cant stand most of the people in my school, thers maybe like 2 - 5 people i would hang out with outside of school. whatever, i cant wait until im 18, and i can leave this shitty state.

"/ today was a pretty upsetting day for me.
my dog Sugar who i have had for about 12 years died sometime today,
my mom and myself walked in the house and she wasn't moving. really. i didn't think that losing a dog would hurt this much, and i hate seeing my other dog Fang, he so lost without her. he keeps smelling the spot where she was when she passed. sugar i love you, i really do, i hope your okay, and i hope you didn't feel anything when you went. we all love you with all our heart. im going to miss you every single day. ha-ha tell uncle bob i said hi

so casey calvert from hawthorne heights passed away.
that is fucking insane
"/


"Today is probably the worst day ever. Its with our deepest regrets that we have to write this. Casey Calvert passed away in his sleep last night. We found out this afternoon before sound-check. We've spent the entire day trying to come to grips with this and figure out as much as possible. At this time we're not sure what exactly happened. Just last night he was joking around with everyone before he went to bed. We can say with absolute certainty that he was not doing anything illegal. Please, out of respect to Casey and his family, don't contribute or succumb to any gossip you may hear. We don't want his memory to be tainted in the least. Casey was our best friend. He was quirky and awesome and there will truly be no others like him! His loss is unexplainable. As soon as we know more we will let you know. Sincerely,
Hawthorne Heights
Eron, JT, Micah and Matt "

that was from

here.


R.I.P. CC <3

okay, im going to try and use livejournal more offten, because first off, myspace sucks. and i don't know how to work facebook. haha
so yeah

any way last night was probably the most insane day of my life, but in a good way,
friday Jordan and myself were pretty much glued to the computer screen 10 minutes to seven waiting to see if we were still winning the bid for paramore tickets. which we did :) for 140 each. haha words can't even describe how happy we were.

we left my house, i'd say around 6:30 - ish ? than we had to go pick up two more of her friends who lived in like fucking japan from my house , haha but yeah we got there around 9:30 in the mourning. when it was like 30 degrees and we were like 10th in line.

but yeah, the show was one of a kind. and it was also out, hence why we went on ebay and got two tickets for 140 each. yeah. haha
all of the three bands where the best. The Almost , i wish they played longer, The starting line was fucking bomb, like always :D
and paramore, was just, i dont even have the words to describe paramore.

when they played "My Heart" i was so close to tears, their music has helped me so much, gahh i love them

and next time they come around im getting my tickets sooner before they sell out. so i dont have to go on ebay and get a ticket for fucking 140 $ haha